Is it Autism (ASD)?

So you have a young child and you begin to notice some little things which you pass off as quirky or all kids are different. After some time the little things are still happening and some things have gotten worse! Now you begin to have little thoughts and then you get out your phone and google 'symtoms of autism', now you really start to think this is maybe what is happening. Still you tell yourself, 'nah I am being over sensitive after all I am wiped out' etc... Nursery age begins and within a few months the teacher wants a word! Deep down you know what is coming, then they say 'we think it will be a benefit if you get your child referred to speech and language therapy.'

A little part of you is like oh so it is not autism then. So you do what is asked of you and ring the Dr and update them on what is happening, for them to ask some questions and then here it comes, I am not referring your child for speech and language instead I think it would be better if we get the paediatricians in ASD to assess her first. Your heart aches as this is the first time somebody has said it out loud to you. The worst part is you know this stuff can take time to go through and you can wait ages to get to the assessment stage. As the months tick by it seems on some days that maybe in fact your child is doing fine as you can see them coming on more and more each week, then you go for a day out or someone visits the house and soon enough you are reminded that your child isn't so ok.

Yes, our child isn't speaking as well as she could be but it is improving all the time, BUT why will they not speak to their teachers and adults in general.

Why do I have an fun loving bubbly child at home, but when people visit or we visit anyone that child goes and our non speaking, upset and stressed child comes out?

Why when as soon as we are home does my child need to be in their pull up and not wear any clothing?

Why does my child cover their ears and get upset if whatever that noise is doesn't stop? Why at times does our child get so stressed out they pull their mouth or hair in frustration? Why does my child close their eyes when they are around adults sometimes as though they are trying to pretend they are not there?

Why won't our child TRY and use the toilet, and instead live in pull ups?

Why does our child scream and get worked up if something is not going their way?

Why will our child only wear certain types of clothing?

Soooo many why's!!!

Eventually the ASD send you a letter dismissing seeing your child as they are under five and have now referred our child to a Child Development Team, so once again we WAIT. It is now less than 2 weeks of our childs nursery year left and Reception starts in September. I am nervous and worried for our child as I have no clue what to expect and how things will go. We need her to be using the toilet BUT we are still waiting on the continence team to get in touch as I am out of ideas on how to achieve this! Like any parent I do not want others to upset her if they notice she is different to them and make her anxiety worse.

The main issue right now is not knowing how much to push her with anything as I do not want to undo any progress that has been made. The teachers have been the same as they did not want to hinder her progress. I just do not know what to do now.

Could I be doing wrong by not pushing her more, should I be pushing her? How much should I push her?

So officially nobody has said 'she has autism' or something along those lines BUT she is having trouble with a fair few things. We attempted to visit my brother this past weekend and for the first few hours she was on me, head buried, eyes shut and crying on and off. She just coud not settle, I ended up offering to go for a walk with her, we all went and then she was much, much better. I just wish I knew how I could help her, I am lost and have no idea what to do next.

If anyone has any ideas or help please comment and let me know. If you prefer email me at keepmyheadstraight@gmail.com

Gentle Hugs,

Tracey x